Last night...

I had fun last night, I hung out with my sister and got really high, I'm not really one for doing that. But it was fun. We just talked a lot about crap really haha about men and her friends and money and Idk just whatever really. She struggles too with depression and weird eating habits, I think hers might be more eating disorder tho or I'm not sure, I can't really say when Im not her you know. Me and her used to be really close, and we did a whole lot of really fucked up things like telling each other to starve or purge and supporting each other when we didn't eat and lost more weight and that sort of thing. That was a few years back now when thinspo was really big on Tumblr. I dont think she's doing so well right now, she barely eats, and gets stoned everyday. She's a single mum, and the father is a real dick, she's trying to get him to sign over his rights now, because he's bad for her son, he's unreliable and irresponsible and immature and doesn't even care about the kid, he just uses him to have a way of controlling her. Its not a very nice situation actually.
She does have good friends tho, who understand what being a single mum is like, and the awful partners. She's very careful now, because her son was an accident, she's almost over careful because she cannot get knocked up again with a guy who's not serious about her and doesn't love her etc.

Life is hard, we make mistakes and all have our own problems. And I guess we're not alone even tho we may feel like it. It really nice seeing her, puts things into perspective for me. Ive had this depression for a long long time. And its just time to move on now. I really want to be a scientist (cardiologist) and this depression will take it away from me. Its not as easy as just 'moving on' but its ruining my life, so, if I want something then I should suck up the fear and just go for it. The world is bigger than me.